School Sex Education

First, listen and talk with your children

We all know, that both adults and teenagers are exposed to different sources of information about sexuality. The most frequented? Of course it is the internet. But is this really the right way to teach sexual education to our youth? Any good sexologist would prefer a totally different approach to sexual education for our youth. Because on the Internet you can find a lot of erroneous information and some of the worse examples of twisted behaviors. Can you help your teen in his questioning? Do you know where he or she will seek answers to his or her questions? Is he or she an Internet-Addict? Here are a few informations which may help you….

SEX EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT

We can observe the negative impacts on our youth caused by the withdrawal of sex education in our schools. Without this informative and educational framework, teens find their answers through their peers who themselves, have found it online or in porn. Just great! In addition, Sexually Transmitted Infections-Through the Blood are rising and there is a recrudescence of diseases such as chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis. At the end of May 2010, the National Director of Public Health of Canada, said that the increases in Sexually Transmitted Infections-Through the Blood represented an epidemic according to the latest report on the health status of Canadians. And who are the most affected? Our youth. We must urgently react. To guide young people so they can make good decisions about their sex life would greatly contribute to make them responsible adults and would help them to have a fulfilling and happy sex life.

HOW CAN WE HELP?

First by listening to them. They ask questions even in their early childhood, but often these questions are about the development and changes in their bodies. They want to know how it happens in others and want to find out more about themselves to know if they are normal. Do not hesitate to leave on their desks inside their rooms informative books on sexuality which of course you must have read and approved yourselves prior to passing them over to your young ones. They can be found written by several authors inside your own library, or bought on the internet. Study the reactions of your children, because bad influences will leave behavioral traces: aggressiveness, unexplained anger or withdrawal. In short, any sudden or gradual change may be suspect. Then, periodically check and make sure that your child does not become a Internet-Addict.

THE MAIN SIGNS OF THIS DEPENDENCE ARE:

He prefers to retire to his room to surf the internet rather than doing outdoor activities (or other type of activities he loved before);
He becomes anxious if he can not go to the computer during a given period (for example during a full weekend);
He feels anger if you limit his access periods on the internet;
He may yell, get angry, or become rude and insulting if disturbed;
He seems depressed, amorphous, not interested or even nervous, but as soon as he found himself on the internet all his problems seems to be solved;

All these signals are to be taken seriously. It’s not just adults who become Internet Addicted, your kids can become addicted also. And unfortunately, you are not always witnesses to the information’s they are gathering on the Internet. Let us be vigilant and let us vote for a return to sex education in schools.

I was born and raised in a rural area in Grand Falls NB. It was a great life on the farm, even though I became a design draftsman, many times I would stop drafting for a while and worked for a summer on the farm. That would put me back in great shape and I was ready again for the big city.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

The phrase love that dare not speak it’s name was coined by Lord Alfred Douglas. It first appeared in his poem, “Two Loves,” printed (in the Chameleon) in 1896. It’s a reference to homosexual love, in Lord Alfred’s case, of Oscar Wilde, who was subsequently charged with gross indecency. Homosexuality was a criminal offense in England and just about everywhere else in the 19th century. Today, there is another sexual outlet not so much forbidden as not addressed in polite or other society – a new form of love the name of which sex educators dare not speak: pornography.

This is most unfortunate: a new study suggests that while parents may not be aware of the fact, pornography is the leading sex educator of the young. Alas, the porn industry has no interest in serving a sex education function and certainly does not do so, at least not in a positive, constructive or healthy fashion.

Porn is pervasive, particularly where it is most highly censored. China, for example, is the world’s leading consumer of porn. Jerry Ropelato, author of “Internet Pornography Statistics” at the research website Top Ten Reviews, notes that $3,075.64 is spent on pornography every second of every day. In this one-second period, 28,258 internet users are viewing pornography and 372 internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines. Two of the top twenty search terms are teen sex and teen porn. The pornography industry has larger revenues than Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo, Apple and Netflix combined. Data from 2006 reported worldwide pornography revenues at $97.06 billion.

Australian researchers David Corlett and Maree Crabbe filmed 140 interviews with young people in what was called “The Reality and Risk Research Project.” They discovered that teens are increasingly turning to the net for sex education. (Source: Denise Ryan, “Teachers urged to address porn factor,” The Australian Age, February 13, 2012.) Porn sex education exerts a destructive influence in the lives of the young. One of the investigators said, “Every young person we interviewed told us that pornography is a significant part of youth culture and particularly of young men’s lives.” She added, “Pornography has become harder, rougher, more hardcore.”

Porn, as you might expect, does not commonly offer instruction in matters relevant to conventional sex education (e.g., the nature of contraception, the prevention of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, the value of intimacy, principles of effective relationships). On the contrary, what it inadvertently communicates to young men, according to “The Project” research group, is reckless, coercive and abusive treatment of women. There is an absence of realistic perspectives and a dearth of respectful treatment of sexual partners. In addition, sexual practices of an unsafe nature are commonplace. While informed adults may have the maturity to manage such depictions, teens with little or, more often, no sexual experience clearly do not.

Since parents usually cannot keep porn from being accessed one way or another or one time or other by their children, the more likely best strategy is to include porn awareness in sex ed instruction. This is the focus of efforts by “The Project” team. Several grants have provided the resources to prepare and test programs for use in training sex education teachers for varied school grade levels. While teachers need skills to address this issue, teens need exposure to effective critiques of pornography’s representations of gender and sex. Among the objectives of the Project team is to develop teaching materials that present diverse scenarios for classroom discussions that will enable young adults to distinguish between what they see depicted in porn and reality.

The overwhelming majority of parents believe their child has never seen pornography. However, a 2003 Australia Institute investigation citied in the Australian Age article cited above reported that 84 per cent of boys and 60 per cent of girls had access to sex sites on the internet. A 2006 Australian study of youths aged 13 to 16 found that 92 per cent of boys and 61 per cent of girls had been exposed to pornography online.

Of course, Republicans in this country might favor a simpler solution: Pass new laws banning pornography or otherwise make it nearly impossible for young people to gain access to it. Given the widespread availability of social media of all kinds in the wired culture of our age, a reliance on censorship does not seem promising (not to dwell on the consistency of such a Draconian tactic with that troublesome First Amendment in America). Good luck cutting off porn – shy of creating a police state. Better sex education is cheaper and quicker, more likely and better suited to personal liberties and sound education.

Everyone, including the young, needs a broad set of knowledge and critical thinking skills to reject a sexuality that eroticises degradation and violence, glorifies unrealistic body types (particularly large breasts and out-sized penises) and undermines relationship elements founded on respect, courtesy and the common decencies.

It is hard enough in the current climate of Right Wing evangelical Republican culture war wedge politics to gain acceptance for sex ed of any kind, let alone adding porn assessment to the mix. If a school board or individual educator in this country tried to address pornography, he or she would be cited by Santorum, Romney or Gingrich as an example of what’s wrong with Obamacare. Try dealing with this crisis only if willing to deal with a firestorm of controversy from the Right.

Yet, all evidence and the lessons from Prohibition and the Comstock era suggest that ignoring or trying to repress the pervasiveness of pornography as it affects youthful sexual expectations and behavior is pernicious and irresponsible.

In my view, we need to make clear as part of sex ed that porn has nothing to do with love. We dare not NOT speak its name – and dare NOT ignore the reality of pornography’s dreadful influence on the sexual miseducation of the young. If this upsets Republicans, well, that’s just too bad. If they had enjoyed better sex education, they might be more sensible about such things – and probably less interested in porn, as well.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

Sex Education And Children

The beginnings of sexual awareness

“Daddy, why is the sky blue?” “Mummy, where does the sun go at night?” And then suddenly, like a bolt from the blue – “Mummy, where do babies come from?” This question usually leaves parents squirming with embarrassment and trying to pass the buck to the other parent. Teaching children the facts of life, telling them about the birds and the bees, is something that most parents are not very comfortable with. Actually, this is a very narrow view of sex education. It is not just about having an embarrassing, private talk with your child or giving them a book or their being given a lecture in school complete with diagrams. Sex does not begin and end with intercourse. Intercourse could be said to be the most intimate way in which men and women relate to each other. However, it is merely one aspect of the relationship between men and women. In fact, children are learning about sexuality from the time they can spot the difference between boys and girls. They also get cues from the different ways in which parents relate to sons and daughters and the way in which parents interact with each other. Thus, children whose parents have a bad marriage will find it very difficult to contemplate that sexual intercourse is built on love and mutual respect.

“Where do babies come from?”

Parents can expect the ‘dreaded’ question about the origins of babies around the age of three. The question stems from natural curiosity. Parents should keep in mind that a three-year-old’s level of understanding is quite simplistic. The child is too young to understand the concept of sexuality. The child will probably be satisfied if the mother says that the baby grows in a special place in her body called the uterus or womb and comes out after nine months. The next question is probably going to be – “How did the baby get in?” The only way a child is aware of about how things get in is through eating. Thus, a simple answer explaining that the baby grows from a tiny seed implanted in the uterus should suffice. If children want to know the father’s role in the process, mothers can explain that the father put the seed inside the mother. As for how the babies get out, children can be told that once the baby has grown enough inside the mother it comes out from a special opening called the vagina. It may be a good idea to specify that this opening is different from those for urination and defecation.

Sex education is something that happens in stages. A three-year-old child might be satisfied when he is simply told that the father provides the seed that grows into a baby. However, by the time he is five, he might want to know how exactly it got there. Here again, parents should remember to keep it simple. After all, he is only five. Explain to him that the seed comes out of the father’s penis and is deposited in the uterus where the baby will grow for the next nine months.

Some children don’t bring up the topic at all. Parents of such children assume that their children are particularly innocent. But in all likelihood, parents of these children have made them feel, probably unintentionally, that the question of how babies are made is somehow taboo and not open to discussion. Such parents should keep their ears open for indirect questions, hints and jokes that indicate that the child is curious but afraid to ask a direct question. For instance, a little boy may constantly poke fun at his pregnant mother saying that she is fat or a little girl may ask her mother how their dog had puppies. Parents should realize that their children are diffident about asking them questions directly and seize these opportunities to explain a little bit about human reproduction.

Some parents prefer fiction to fact when discussing sex with their children. A common euphemism used by parents is that a stork or an angel brought the baby. Such stories tend to backfire because the child can see the evidence of the baby growing in his mother’s stomach every day. The child immediately senses that his parents are being evasive about the issue and he is bound to find out the truth sooner or later. Parents are in danger of losing his trust because he is not sure when they might chose to lie or tell him half-truths again. In addition, the question of how babies are made acquires considerable significance highlighted by the parent’s nervous and sheepish approach. He gets the message that the topic is something to be embarrassed about. Another outcome of this approach is that the child may hesitate to discuss things that bother him with his parents in the future because he is not sure of the response he will get.

Adolescents and sex

Parents who have passed the “where do babies come from?” stage usually heave a sigh of relief, thinking that’s the end of that. But the topic of sex is bound to rear its head once again when their children hit puberty. This is the stage in life when girl’s breasts begin to develop, their hips widen and they begin to menstruate. Boys see an increase in body hair, their voices crack, their penises and testicles grow and they begin to have nocturnal emissions or “wet dreams.” Suddenly sons and daughters become impossible to cope with. They are constantly touchy and irritable, they seem to glory in being contrary and love playing the rebel. This is the stage when most parents wish their children were babies again.

Most adolescents become very conscious and sensitive about the way they look and the changes in their bodies. Parents need to help their children adjust to their sexually maturing and changing bodies. This is the stage in life when children need to be informed about sexuality, the sexual act and its consequences. Some teenagers may bring up the topic themselves directly or indirectly. Sometimes parents may have to take the initiative to broach the subject. If as a parent, one is diffident about discussing such a private topic with one’s child, tell him or her the way you feel. This will serve to put both parent and child at ease.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

Sex Education For Couples – A Fun and Practical Approach

Your parents gave you the best sex education for couples and taught you everything you ever needed or wanted to know about sex…..right? Probably not and so most of us are left with allot of experimenting and wondering about our sexuality, especially after we have been with the same partner for any length of time.

I remember a client who came to see me who was feeling confusion about his sexual feelings. At a young age He had been forced to do sexual acts with one of his father’s male friends. The experience left him confused by a sense of needing “affection” from men in that way, even though he was happily married with three kids.

The point is, sex education for couples is more than just about our bodies and the erotica surrounding intercourse. We are all deeply influenced by our peers, the media, and especially our early experiences. Where then do couples get the information and advice they need? Most of us would dearly love to have a wise older person to lean on and bend our ear. That is rare, but there are ancient traditions that focused on mastering sex and intimate arts.

In these teachings are practical and fun techniques that are useful to modern couples. We all want to regain the fire in our relationships and to rediscover the magic of being playmates at sex. You might also discover that adults sex education lessons also instantly improve other aspects of your relationship.

For men: imagine having complete control of when you want to ejaculate
And for Women: imagine discovering secrets to expand your sexual magic and orgasmic potential. Wouldn’t that be nice? Being able to increase your sexual desire and joy of sex while also extending your orgasmic pleasure.
You can both discover how to balance differences in libido.
Discover how to explore and expand the amount of sexual pleasure you can experience and bring to each other.
Learn how to maintain exciting sexual passion and keep love alive in a committed relationship while managing the stress of life, work and family.

When it comes to sex, reading about it is boring. So When singles and couples see me about sexual issues, I encourage a fun and practical approach to learning more about sex. Having knowledge and wisdom about sex is a true gift to share as a couple and as a peer to others and younger people who may not find the greatest advice elsewhere.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off